transcendental argument for the existence of god

The transcendental argument for the existence of god claims that there are logical absolutes, a product of the mind, which are separate from the physical world.

If the universe were to end, would the logical value True still be True?

Now I'm going to get academic and ask: what the fuck are you on about? What sort of processes do you imagine will occur when the universe ends? Maybe it'll fucking be false! Stop bollocksing on about irrelevant shit.

When these people talk about True being True, you see it as somehow different from an Alcoholic living in Elgin.

Ok so maybe you see them both as holy things, but what fucking god do I need to tell me this stuff? Do I need to have a god to invent these things before I discover them? Did god need to say there was an alcoholic in Elgin, as well as saying that True is True, prior to their discovery?

Why, oh why oh why do we need a god to be responsible for creating these dull, boring facts for us?

Ahhh, their argument is deeply flawed, boring and useless. And the last two are worse than the first.

approach anxiety lolz

Maybe it's because I hate women, or, maybe 'cus I hate men. Perhaps it's because I hate everyone. You disgust me, you pathetic worms. But for some reason I find this blog, an inspirational guide for meeting women extremely funny.

Here's a memorable quote:

"Based on that, I could ask myself what does the fact that she likes yoga say about her as a person?... She likes to feel good physically. (I like this because it could be sexual)"

But what's interesting is that he sells coaching and workshops so people can learn to speak to women at random in public. I really don't need to comment on why this is funny, surely. Here's a testament to his business, from the horse's mouth:

"Now he can progress where it’s most important. He can get out every day and meet new women. Everything else is secondary."

Maybe it's because he learned from the best; from "Cory Sky (the guy who picks up women with eye contact alone)"

Now some of you may think I'm not taking his business very seriously; but not Mr Disco; who works hard at his game: "Wow, I don’t feel like doing this. I feel like staying in. But I head out to meet women anyway."

Perhaps the real reason I find this funny is because well, it just seems one step off flashing your cock at people in public; but all you're doing is approaching them and asking them out. But why do I feel that way?

It's another thing I blame the strict church in this part of the world for; all the kids gathered at School praising the Lord. And now I'm an athiest, I still can't get a boner for anyone... so worried I am that they're going to rob or kill me, or worse, I to do that to them.

Then again, maybe it's because the only time I really tried doing that sort of thing was in Aberdeen pubs, where all the women actually do carry chainsaws and bibles.

reading philosophy in the pub

I have refreshed myself in the company of people from Elgin. Three things happened:
A lady (who was be-boyfriended) came and sat next to me, so I gave her a look until she went away.

Also I read Nietzsche in the pub, and decided that the same argument that Nietzsche uses against the logical approach used by Spinoza in his 'Ethics' is well applicable to Sartre's 'Being and Nothingness' - the rub being that it is not merely his theory of man, but a vehicle by which Sartre pushes his own emotional agenda, one of insecurity, one where a man requires a large ontology - a false model by which one can understand or misunderstand reality - to give us what a child knows - that people walk, do and be! When the truth is stripped away like I have done here then what benefit does his philosophy give to us?!
(tbh I quite it like, I think it's a good read)

Thirdly, some idiot children attempted to board the bus in hopeman, and were turned away because one had an opened crate of beer, another asked the bus driver for blow-job while holding a pint in a glass, while a third and fourth smoked cigarettes on the bus.

Would that I was quicker freeing some mobile phone memory, I would have captured it in video format. Alas.

Web dev

I've come back from Aberdeen with a lovely newsecond hand Guitar! which I love waaaay too much.

Anyway, that whole thing rather distracted me from my business plans here, wasting ovar nine thousand man-hours.

Back to coding though, today: and you know I don't like to make a half-assed job of things (unless I'm hacking in the pub!)

So I wanted to share this little javascript function of which I'm slightly proud, mostly because I implement half the function haskell list library within it.

// From a list of lists of two elements
// Create application/x-www-form-urlencoded parameters
function params(ps)
{
  if (ps == undefined)
  {
     return "";
  }
  else
  {
     var map = function(l,f)
     {
        var a = [];
        var i;
        for(i=0; i<l.length; i++)
        {
           a[i] = f(l[i]);
        }
        return a;
     };
     var fold = function(l,s,f)
     {
        var i;
        for(i=0; i<l.length; i++)
        {
           var s = f(s, l[i]);
        }
        return s;
     }
     var intersperse = function(i,l)
     {
        var f = function(li,e)
        {
           li.push(i);
           li.push(e);
           return li;
        }
        var l = fold(l,[],f);
        l.splice(0,1);
        return l;
     }
     var join = function(ll)
     {
        return fold(ll,[],function(o,l)
        {
           return fold(l,o,function(oo,e)
           {
              oo.push(e);
              return oo;
           });
        });
     }
     // Pair the inputs
     var ps_pairs = map(ps,function(p)
     {
        return p[0] + "=" + p[1]
     });
     var amps = intersperse("&",ps_pairs);
     // join them together
     var joined = join(amps).join("");
     return joined;
  }
}

Excessive?! No!!! But really what I need to do is to remove the inner functions into an array processing library of their own... I think I might make a couple of medium sizish javascript libraries for various things...

Facebook apps

In December I joined the ranks of facebookers. Normally I hate that sort of thing but, hey my friends have it and it makes it easy to speak to them.

However, as you may be aware, there exists on facebook various mechanisms whereby programmers can write apps, which interact with facebook. After I realized how popular these apps were, my cynicism drive engaged, pound signs filled my eyes, and drool began to pour from my mouth. I could make some money here, thought I, for I have but tuppence!

So I have learned how to speak to facebook. My progress wasn't entirely without mistakes.

This story applies:
Being a proper nerd, I'm not afraid of fucking around in a library's internals. So when I realized the haskell client library was out dated, I plunged and made it support some newer methods.

However, I didn't realize it would be much simpler to just use javascript, until this morning. So uhhh, yeah, that was a bit of a waste of time. But still, all good in the process of figuring out the easiest way.

Anyway, I use haskell (predictably) and happstack. I run within an Iframe, and use facebook connect for API calls.

I think that's the easiest way!
Anyway, this is the really simple word game I made: uncensored originality

Now, since I have less to learn, I am going to make a more complex game! Woohoo!

typefuck-0.0.2

This is a bug fix for typefuck - credit due to Kai Meder for pointing it out.
I'd forgotten to add a change that I made in development to the gunzip that I put online, so the example didn't work.
Cheers Kai!

typefuck-0.0.2

Typefuck

Ah, so lovely to see you again, gentle readers. It's been a long time - and I have no explanations for my absence - but you must forgive me - after all, long does the mind dwell on mysteries, and long can mysteries dwell unseen.

But worry not, gentle readers, for I have a gift for you. As you know I have a fondness for implementing programming languages - it makes me think of kittens, polymorphic types and lockers full of stolen credit cards.

Enough to bring a nostalgic tear to anyone's eye.

Especially those who value esoteric knowledge.

Secrets await you, fair soul, who may read this code and wonder how much I had to drink.

Brainfuck implemented within the Haskell type checker

WTF:
Typefuck is a brainfuck which runs within the Haskell type checker - that is, prior to compilation. If a rationale is to be sought, it is as another proof that the GHC type checker is turing complete.

Here are the type level commands

-- | Add +
data A = A
deriving Show

-- | Minus -
data M = M
deriving Show

-- | Right >
data R = R
deriving Show

-- | Left <
data L = L
deriving Show

-- | Iterate [ ]
data I bf = I bf
deriving Show

-- | Put .
data P = P
deriving Show

-- | Get ,
data G = G
deriving Show

So the simple brainfuck program: ,>,[-<+>]<.
(which adds two numbers)

is equivalent to the Haskell type

type Add =
   Cons G
   (Cons R
   (Cons G
   (Cons (I (Cons M
            (Cons L
            (Cons A
            (Cons R Nil)))))
   (Cons L
   (Cons P Nil
   )))))


Use the Brainfuck type to evaluate.

The first type parameter represents the program, while the second represents the input.

Input and output are represented as Cons-ed linked lists of unary integers, constructed from Succ, Zero, and Neg (for negative integers)

Assert that the function 'show_type' has this type to show a value level solution for the problem (though all working is done within the type checker)

Example:

spoon@utensil:~/Desktop$ ghci
GHCi, version 6.10.3: http://www.haskell.org/ghc/ :? for help
Loading package ghc-prim ... linking ... done.
Loading package integer ... linking ... done.
Loading package base ... linking ... done.
Prelude> :m +Typefuck
Prelude Typefuck> show_type :: Brainfuck Add (Cons (Succ (Succ (Succ Zero))) (Cons (Succ (Succ Zero)) Nil))
Loading package syb ... linking ... done.
Loading package base-3.0.3.1 ... linking ... done.
Loading package typefuck-0.0.1 ... linking ... done.
Cons (Succ (Succ (Succ (Succ (Succ Zero))))) Nil